Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The infertile, pregnant woman

Today marks the first day of my second trimester and still, I feel as this has all been a wonderful dream.  I'm not sure if all pregnant women feel this way, or if it's just us, crazy, infertile broads.  I've peed on more sticks than I care to count, have had at least three blood draws to check my hCG levels, have had 4 ultrasounds, have horfed more meals than I've consumed, am averaging two, one hour naps per day and still, I am not convinced that this is real.

And because I'm a crazy, infertile, pregnant woman, I take it a step further:  All of my tests have, obviously, been flukes.  All of the ultrasounds were pre-recorded and played for me, just to make me feel like I was pregnant.  Every time I tell someone I'm pregnant with twins, I'm totally lying, because that would be absolutely impossible.

Yet, here I sit with a tiny bump below my belly button, exhausted beyond belief and kicking myself for not bringing the bottle of phenergan upstairs with me.  And even crazier, I have pictures of the imaginary squatters in my belly:

This is Happy.  Clearly, happy takes after me because this is the only good shot we got of him.  He would not cooperate with the nice ultrasound tech and would not pose for a 3D picture.  Happy just wants to be left alone.  No flash photography, please.

Unlike his brother, Grumpy:
...who was totally cheesin' it up.  We had no problems getting 3D images of this one.  (Clearly, he takes after Benny.)

And yet, even after this photographic evidence, I still don't believe it.  I've seen fuzzier pictures of Bigfoot and faces on the surface of Mars that convinced me of their existence than these pictures do of my own children.

Then again, I sometimes look at the two boys I have now, and wonder, "has this all been some wonderful dream?  Could these really be my sweet, handsome boys?"  To women like me, getting to be a mother is like winning the lottery.  Unbelievable at first, and even after the fact, you're still amazed that it happened to you.

I am just so excited and overjoyed at the idea of meeting the two little beings that currently take up residence below my belly button.  I keep pinching myself to make sure it's really happening.

And you know what?  It totally is...

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