tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805991781667455692024-03-05T01:52:54.355-05:00Fertile as a RockBecause blogging about my reproductive shortcomings is better than stuffing my face with Caramel Cone Haagen Dazs. (But not by much.)A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-37807945655099712522011-03-19T22:15:00.000-04:002011-03-19T22:15:52.366-04:00Suck in that gut, lady!<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No, that wasn't something I heard from a stranger mistaking a belly full of babies for a belly full of pudge. It was something I said to myself as I walked past a mirror in the house, the other day! So I stopped in front of said mirror, stood up straight, and to my amazement (and relief) this belly I have isn't something I got from one too many trips to Chipotle! This was genuine "babies bump".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now, this is usually where I'd post a picture of the fuselage of the Mothership, but I don't have a recent one and I'm not about to take one because I'm in old sweats, an old, tie-dyed t-shirt and have a mop of recently showered hair atop my head. The internet does <i>not </i>need to see that. I sort of promise to kind of attempt to get myself into a cute prego shirt tomorrow and ask Jeff to take a picture of me. I do need more of them for my scrapbook, anyhow.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But for those of you who MUST know what the bump looks like now, <a href="http://www.bittenandbound.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Demi-Moore-pregnant-and-nude.jpg">this </a>is will give you a good idea of what I look like.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Suckers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyhow, I have another <b>major</b> announcement. I'm calling the time of death for my morning sickness! It has been an entire week without so much as a gag or the slightest wave of nausea! I think I've more than paid my vomit dues with this pregnancy, that if I ever got pregnant again (don't count on it!!) I would have the opposite of nausea. Not sure what that would be, but it sounds good. I'm still not eating a ton, yet. I get hungry, sure, but not the ravenous, lions tearing into a fresh zebra, kind of hunger. But I still don't like coffee *frowny face*.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The girls are also moving a lot more. It's the coolest feeling and I can hardly wait for Jeff and the boys to be able to feel them, too! Until then, it feels like a sweet, little secret between me and my girls. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well, I managed to go the entire day without needing a nap! However, this means that I need to go to bed. Like, now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">G'night!</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-87503954976822287592011-03-14T23:48:00.000-04:002011-03-14T23:48:59.670-04:00All is good in the baby 'hood<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sorry for the lack of update. I posted the results of the scan on Facebook, but then forgot that some of you who read this aren't on Facebook. Anyhow, my cervix is of normal length (I'm so glad I just put that phrase on the internet) and there isn't going to be any nasty cerclage business for this pregnant lady! Since that day there hasn't been anymore discomfort or other reason to worry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well, unless you're my husband. See, on Saturday I found one of those Maternity Ultrasound Spa places. (These places do massages on pregos and also offer 3D images of your precious, bellybeans.) Being nearly 16 weeks, they were able to tell me what we have growing in there:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">GIRLS! Two, beautiful, precious, little girls! The one on my right is <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm1t3R5y3HVxuMTpOgDUFsMtLnLVCbhsJg4i2Fez3kF8F4SBXRcz_v1A_vg4zBFfBJxt9WijQGZQnzHZ-BSyJoLYhBYsv5Pt1bWghFre7NPgM8hazs6zDLRszEZtE0QTqQJteq2pmqJqNa/s1600/WestSideStoryNatalie.jpg">Natalie </a>and the one on my left is <a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3088/3098880225_2606ca0106_o.jpg">Elizabeth</a>. Although Andy picked the name Elizabeth, I like to think that he wanted to name her after Ms. Taylor. And of course, being the insane Natalie Wood fan I am, Natalie is named after Ms. Wood.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And that, dear readers, is what we have to worry about. I once heard a comedian say, "Having a little boy is so much easier than having a little girl. See, with the little boys, you just have to watch out for that little boy. With little girls, you have to watch out for that little girl and <i>all</i> the other little boys."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Pink is just so foreign. Pink squeals and wears frilly things and is just so...<i>pink</i>. Look, I have nothing against girls. Being one, I think we're pretty awesome. However, I can say that because I've never <i>raised</i> one. I've been swimming in a sea of blue for the past eight-ish years and I know how to navigate these waters. These are fun, sometimes rough-and-tumble, waters. All the dolphins have lightsabers and the seagulls wrestle each other. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But a sea of <i>pink</i>? How on earth do I scrapbook <i>pink</i>? What kinds of stories do <i>pink </i>things like? What games do these <i>pinklings </i>play? Will I know how to speak <i>pink</i>?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I do have some help in my corner, though. I have two little boys who are just tickled, dare I say it...<i>pink</i>, to be having sisters. I have a husband who is going to be their hero. And I have a love for them that started in my heart before these precious baby girls were ever even brought into existence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I think we're going to be just fine. </span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-44160312530204901252011-03-08T19:12:00.000-05:002011-03-08T19:12:38.048-05:00Well that was slightly scary...<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">At the risk of oversharing (because it's just something my mouth and typing fingers <i>force</i> me to do) let me just say that this story started with a tiny bit of bright, red "spotting" and a slight tenderness/bit of pressure on my internal lady bits. After a call to my OB, it was determined that a quick visit to their office wouldn't be a bad idea.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Considering how worried I was, especially when the tenderness/bit of pressure turned to the yucky feeling one gets when one's Aunt Flo is arriving, I was rather cool and collected. My blood pressure was even really good, too. (114 over 76 thankyouverymuch.) So with a very fashionable paper-sheet skirt draped across my lower half, I waited for the doc and her shadow, a very nice student Nurse Practitioner.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The ultrasound paddle was applied to my belly and I was greeted by what I'd been really wanting to see: movement of the Bellybeans and strong heartbeats. The OB needed to check to see if I was dilated, and I won't go into detail but that procedure involved a rather painful run in with a speculum.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Fucking OUCH.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Good news, no blood and cervix appeared closed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Bad news, she still seemed concerned about preterm labor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Fucking GREAT.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She asked if I was on Progesterone of any form and I said that we stopped PIO shots at 10 weeks. She said that she was putting me back on PIO shots, but that they'd be weekly vs. daily. Then she ordered an ultrasound with <a href="http://www.enquirer.com/editions/1997/08/14/loc_twins.html">Dr. Siddiqi</a> (same perinatal office that preformed the nuchal translucency test) so that they could check the length of my cervix.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Long cervix = good things. Short cervix = bad things.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I go in on Thursday to have the thing measured and if it's short (let's hope it's not, ok?) I get a <a href="http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/cervicalcerclage.html">cergclage </a>stitched in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I wonder if they'll have to redeploy the <a href="http://fertileasarock.blogspot.com/2010/11/egg-retrieval.html">laser wearing shark</a>?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyhow, after getting my first shot in my ample rear (well, the first in about 5 weeks...the needle vacation was nice while it lasted!) my ultrasound with Dr. Siddiqi was scheduled for this Thursday at 10am. Until then, I'm supposed to relax and take it easy. No lifting. Which, honestly, is pretty much what I've been doing since the womb squatters took up residence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So to sum up: this isn't terrible news. It ain't so great, but it's not terrible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh, and to the handful of women in the OB waiting room who gave me the side-eye because I wore my Mickey Mouse pajama bottoms: I hope you got a really cold speculum thrust somewhere.</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-44752055658885733272011-02-24T22:41:00.000-05:002011-02-24T22:41:02.215-05:00Just call me Sigourney...<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">...because we have movement in the belly. I feel the squatter on the left more than I do the squatter on the right (because of their positions) and they feel like marshmallows are wandering around my baby factory. And let me tell you, it's really, <i>really</i> freaking cool.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The fact that I've said that makes me sort of laugh a little. See, before being knocked up, I was sort of freaked out about the idea of feeling something move in my abdomen. I mean, I've had gas and really bad cases of, uh..."gastrointestinal distress", but that's different. I was actually kind of scared and thought that it would creep me out, a little. That's really hard for me to admit because I've wanted to experience pregnancy for <b>so</b> long and have experienced <b>so</b> much grief over not being able to do it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So, now that I've gotten to experience it, I can honestly say that it's one of the coolest things I've ever felt. There are little Andrea-Jeff hybrids growing inside of me...<i>and they move</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And that's another thing...I have created two, little, precious lives with my husband. The first time I laid eyes on this man, I knew he was the man I was going to marry. I don't know how, I don't know what told me, but I know that as far as I'm concerned, I gave him my heart and soul in that instant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And now we've been given the gift of being able to create life together.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And now I'm totally crying. </span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-20788653325125825472011-02-16T20:40:00.000-05:002011-02-16T20:40:19.213-05:00The infertile, pregnant woman<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Today marks the first day of my second trimester and still, I feel as this has all been a wonderful dream. I'm not sure if all pregnant women feel this way, or if it's just us, crazy, infertile broads. I've peed on more sticks than I care to count, have had at least three blood draws to check my hCG levels, have had 4 ultrasounds, have horfed more meals than I've consumed, am averaging two, one hour naps per day and <i>still</i>, I am not convinced that this is real.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And because I'm a crazy, infertile, pregnant woman, I take it a step further: All of my tests have, obviously, been flukes. All of the ultrasounds were pre-recorded and played for me, just to make me feel like I was pregnant. Every time I tell someone I'm pregnant with twins, I'm totally lying, because that would be absolutely impossible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yet, here I sit with a tiny bump below my belly button, exhausted beyond belief and kicking myself for not bringing the bottle of phenergan upstairs with me. And even crazier, I have pictures of the imaginary squatters in my belly:</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix9O3tJo0g5_KO7leoGHQIQzjcbowv6Ep2iMsEq8epIkG9JbFes1sOwfHuBAmraUS0ln6Edh46Wxv7ZuXuHkD6XnuvmvCeNs3ArIXL3WnnLuZM9aUnMlwjYfxUDxf4AErxoMdMZNshyIoK/s1600/twin+a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix9O3tJo0g5_KO7leoGHQIQzjcbowv6Ep2iMsEq8epIkG9JbFes1sOwfHuBAmraUS0ln6Edh46Wxv7ZuXuHkD6XnuvmvCeNs3ArIXL3WnnLuZM9aUnMlwjYfxUDxf4AErxoMdMZNshyIoK/s400/twin+a.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is Happy. Clearly, happy takes after me because this is the only good shot we got of him. He would not cooperate with the nice ultrasound tech and would not pose for a 3D picture. Happy just wants to be left alone. No flash photography, please.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Unlike his brother, Grumpy:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfcywh8TV0WBYL8BKn44JuA6gqeC90I1WiHGCSXkb0TyFZ-_mAoJJVAmosR7pLVEQ1WuYCwc1UTsZ0lfnGl4ke8MGkuCio_Dwd9fJsDtMqbQij3x062tk9WvUZI2kn9fbDfw9zarh5gIJX/s1600/twin+b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="385" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfcywh8TV0WBYL8BKn44JuA6gqeC90I1WiHGCSXkb0TyFZ-_mAoJJVAmosR7pLVEQ1WuYCwc1UTsZ0lfnGl4ke8MGkuCio_Dwd9fJsDtMqbQij3x062tk9WvUZI2kn9fbDfw9zarh5gIJX/s400/twin+b.jpg" width="400" /> </a> </div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> ...who was totally cheesin' it up. We had no problems getting 3D images of this one. (Clearly, he takes after Benny.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And yet, even after this photographic evidence, I still don't believe it. I've seen fuzzier pictures of <a href="http://z.about.com/d/paranormal/1/0/s/A/patterson_bigfoot_lg.jpg">Bigfoot </a>and <a href="http://alexis.m2osw.com/images/mars_face.jpg">faces on the surface of Mars</a> that convinced me of their existence than these pictures do of my own children.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then again, I sometimes look at the two boys I have now, and wonder, "has this all been some wonderful dream? Could these really be my sweet, handsome boys?" To women like me, getting to be a mother is like winning the lottery. Unbelievable at first, and even after the fact, you're still amazed that it happened to you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am just so excited and overjoyed at the idea of meeting the two little beings that currently take up residence below my belly button. I keep pinching myself to make sure it's really happening.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And you know what? It totally is... </span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-56862378325977007782011-01-31T19:30:00.000-05:002011-01-31T19:30:00.692-05:00Where do they come up with this stuff?<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For those of you who know me and who have met my boys, you know that despite our differences in DNA, we are a lot alike, especially in the way we talk and our shared, warped sense of humor. And this new, pregnancy thing has long been fodder for their inquisitive minds. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For example, just a few weeks ago, I was horfing in the bathroom. (Well, that wasn't exclusive to a few weeks ago, but the rest of the story is.) Mid-horf, I hear a little voice from the other side of the door:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>"Mommy, awe you okay?"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Yes, Benny. I'm okay. I'll be out in a minute."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>"Okay. Mommy?"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Yes, Benny..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>"Don't fwoh up da babies, okay?"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Okay, Benny. I'll try not to."<i> </i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then there was the question that Andy had for me. It was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and a clip of one of his speeches on the radio inspired a breakfast time talk. After discussing the fact that the color of one's skin has no bearing on the quality of their character and that Dr. King's dream wasn't about fighting dragons or swimming in a pool of spaghetti, Andy posed a question:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>"Hey mom?"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Yeah, Andy?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>"If the babies come out black like Dr. King, we're still going to love them, right?"</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yes, my older boy-child actually said this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Yes, Andy. Your father might have some questions, but no matter what these babies look like, we're going to love them."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That was said, of course, <i>after</i> my face imploded upon itself from trying to contain the laughter.<i> </i> </span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-9878686701927086672011-01-29T20:47:00.000-05:002011-01-29T20:47:04.666-05:00IVF/ICSI Graduate!<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After just one round of IVF/ICSI, Jeff and I graduated with flying colors! (We're fast learners, I guess.) I definitely don't take that lightly though, considering the countless women and their partners who struggle through cycle after cycle and don't get anywhere closer to their dream than they were when they first started.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So after a great ultrasound (and seeing the babies MOVE! Like, actually squirm around!!) I was released from Dr. Thomas' care. I ended up switching OBs, too. Not because I didn't like the practice I was at, but because I want to deliver at a hospital with a Level III NICU. This is a good thing to have when expecting twins, or so I've read. The new OB's office only deliver at Good Sam, which not only has a Level III NICU, but I've heard nothing but rave reviews about. I had my first appointment with them on Friday and it went well. The doc I saw was really nice and we hit it off. I think the high point of the visit was during the exam, she asked if I had any questions. I asked, "Yeah, when do my boobs get bigger? I mean, if I'm going to be pregnant, I want huge melons." I knew we were going to be friends when she snortlaughed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyhow, here are the last ultrasound pictures from Dr. Thomas' office. They actually look like real babies! Heads and bellies and hands and legs and things!</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSUGL23A_zKaAK_JeBnIcx3HGIB8iz8S8gg2KfC-f4a8Hlddxs9yoMvcdl-vIT25L56elJdO7vj1LmrkBghzYLRMfUcyFV8tJlKctfgU-oGM3evW9abQ9D-IITHBDIIljTmaZDZaQ41AUQ/s1600/babya+9weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSUGL23A_zKaAK_JeBnIcx3HGIB8iz8S8gg2KfC-f4a8Hlddxs9yoMvcdl-vIT25L56elJdO7vj1LmrkBghzYLRMfUcyFV8tJlKctfgU-oGM3evW9abQ9D-IITHBDIIljTmaZDZaQ41AUQ/s400/babya+9weeks.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Pretty neat, huh?</span> </div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-5007180259339811142011-01-11T23:05:00.000-05:002011-01-11T23:05:29.075-05:00Pollyanna was kicked to the curb<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Before I became a mother to my awesome man-children, before the Preggo Fairy decided to wave her magic wand over my lady-bits and</span> <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before I had the honor of growing twins, I promised myself that I would never, EVER complain about pregnancy symptoms. And so far, I have kept my word. Any time I find myself bracing my arms against the bathroom wall or the shower stall, yakking up whatever stomach contents the twins do not approve of, I play <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dge1E8OeQRc">the glad game</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I'm beyond exhausted, I'm glad about it because naps just make the time go by faster. When I have to get my nightly injection of progesterone, I'm glad because I don't have to worry if my body is making enough of it to sustain my pregnancy. When I'm red in the face from throwing up, I'm glad because that means there's plenty of hCG in my system, and that makes for a good, healthy pregnancy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That is, I played the glad game until today. As usual, I was up at four for my morning ritual of Frosted Flakes and Facebook. I was zonked on the couch by 5am and then up for my 6:50am alarm. I had to hold my breath while I made the boys their breakfast and poured their glasses of milk. At one point, I resorted to hand signals and nods/shakes of the head to communicate with them because talking created vibrations in my throat, which triggered my gag reflex.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For those of you who've met me, you know how much I talk and that this could create problems.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I popped my morning Zofran pill and went along my nauseous business. Because the Snow Gods hate me, our school district called a Snow Day. By 9am, I was wiped out again and by 10am, I was in bed. Yes, in bed while my children had free-reign of the house. Smart, I know. Finally exhaustion beat out nausea and I fell asleep. By noon, I was downstairs, holding my breath again while I made the boys some lunch.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyhow, the day went on like this, naps, nausea, naps, nausea and sometimes a handful of hormones that brought me to tears, thrown in. I was rescued when I invited the three of us over to a dear friend's house. Her brother took the kids sledding and she gave me cinnamon muffins and let me whine. I am beyond blessed to have family like this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Fast forward to now and I have managed to throw up dinner, snapped at the boys more than once, cried to Jeff on the phone and am sitting here, wondering how I'm going to get through yet ANOTHER Snow Day, tomorrow.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And it just hit me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>I'm still glad</i>. I had every intention of breaking down to all of the internet and all 12 of my blog readers and saying that I was officially complaining. But as I've been typing this all out, I still can't help but feel that glow of gladness. Yeah, this part isn't so fun and I'm not looking any more pregnant than I was last week, but week seven means two new pairs of limbs, brain cells that are being generated 100 per minute, and two precious mouths and tongues are starting to form. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If that's not worth a ton of puking, emotions on the fritz and insane amounts of fatigue, then nothing in this world is.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For this pregnancy, I am glad.</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-29868625251194559142011-01-09T09:09:00.000-05:002011-01-09T09:09:56.255-05:00Food porn<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This was one of many mornings I've had where I woke up before 5am to, what I'm calling, "Food Porn". Although my food aversions have definitely outnumbered my food cravings, the cravings definitely have the best side effects. I'm gently roused from sleep by the sight of a bowl of dry, frosted flakes topped with fresh, sliced bananas. Barry White-esque music starts playing as ice cold milk is poured, in slow motion of course, all over the flakes and fruit, splashing in dramatic fashion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I would say it's safe to assume that this is my body telling me that a bowl of frosted flakes and sliced bananas would make the twins happy. And because lately it's rare that I have any desire for any specific food, I always take the suggestion of the food porn movie and consume what it tells me to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The other, often played food porn is of a giant glass of <a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3174/2720680354_749cacb3d8.jpg">ice cold orange juice</a>, complete with beads of condensation dripping down the glass. Always with some sort of swanky, boom-chicka-wow-wow music playing, of course. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And now, at minutes from 9:00 in the morning, I shall reheat a <a href="http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/funny-pictures-cat-pizza-aromatherapy.jpg">slice of pizza</a> from last night's pizza party. Yes, there is food porn playing in my head now. Stringy cheese that droops slightly from the crust to a pair of lips.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes, I am aware of the fact that I am just not right. </span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-18751884091837195782011-01-03T18:07:00.000-05:002011-01-03T18:07:15.381-05:00"But Charlie, don't forget......<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what happened to the man that suddenly got everything he ever wanted: He lived happily ever after."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And that, folks, sums up today. My husband and I are proud parents to a fantastic 7 1/2 year old, a wonderful 4 year old and today, we found out that we are expecting twins. AND we saw heartbeats. Like from actual, beating, still forming hearts. We hadn't expected that at all. We knew it was early, but our IVF office accommodated us with an early ultrasound because Jeff is leaving the country for a month, and wouldn't get to be at the first ultrasound, otherwise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We were beyond thrilled when we saw two sacs, but were brought to tears when we saw slight flickering of movement from what would be two, perfect little hearts. I am shell-shocked and a deer-in-the-headlights, while also having it finally feel real and tangible. This is absolutely unreal and looking me in the face all at once. My head is soaring in the clouds and my feet are firmly planted on the ground.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For one of a handful of times in my life, I'm speechless. Since there are no words, I'll share some pictures:</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxUosYuIMKFnCYATCY_ObOQD1BFqNUlJsIqhVvMpM7kYc_Uzej_7vSB8_rTkHFzWJfGhot8DXh70hcMXF5QcNk_b9WIC7cmVJUcMp9-uNan42gChafFrnPWcFKgxXxmKrGIyQcmGt-IysP/s1600/Twins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxUosYuIMKFnCYATCY_ObOQD1BFqNUlJsIqhVvMpM7kYc_Uzej_7vSB8_rTkHFzWJfGhot8DXh70hcMXF5QcNk_b9WIC7cmVJUcMp9-uNan42gChafFrnPWcFKgxXxmKrGIyQcmGt-IysP/s320/Twins.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz22bLP0AXLMuPZIsTlqdaOj8QYew4iTJTjnmEcJVc3jlQnpbGT_-fiRUnDgh93uHMSX20HnVhppKXDJlR3qc6YAN5s60gxWW0f497-69iGz4rOFBgypLGGebb7gOzlsAIpRHsn_CTdM8l/s1600/Baby+A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz22bLP0AXLMuPZIsTlqdaOj8QYew4iTJTjnmEcJVc3jlQnpbGT_-fiRUnDgh93uHMSX20HnVhppKXDJlR3qc6YAN5s60gxWW0f497-69iGz4rOFBgypLGGebb7gOzlsAIpRHsn_CTdM8l/s320/Baby+A.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzCp9SnjsWZzEZahNolu4-Hxdkj7eXLXLgp9HbbHCf0FpUQotUQModuthxnGv86NU2esgLXDNCDFtc4O8SCOX6R7E8syfRSEXU61pnulW3xJFVF7ZK-QjGQ7R2nVsUj6gj-7eOH8VsITHI/s1600/Baby+B+heartbeat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzCp9SnjsWZzEZahNolu4-Hxdkj7eXLXLgp9HbbHCf0FpUQotUQModuthxnGv86NU2esgLXDNCDFtc4O8SCOX6R7E8syfRSEXU61pnulW3xJFVF7ZK-QjGQ7R2nVsUj6gj-7eOH8VsITHI/s320/Baby+B+heartbeat.jpg" width="319" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><em></em>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-29427476539385804172011-01-03T09:04:00.001-05:002011-01-03T09:04:27.874-05:00One of many firsts<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today is the day that I get to hold my husband's hand while we both stare, with great excitement, at a black and white monitor and, for once in my life, don't see a barren wasteland staring back at us. One of the wonderful, white-coat-clad IVF office staff is going to move an ultrasound probe (I hate that word, by the way) across my belly, and then stop to show us the life that we created (ok, so really it was Chuck the lab tech), staring back at us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">This is one of the things that I craved so badly throughout the past decade. The experience of looking at life on an ultrasound screen, and then glancing over to my husband, and seeing that familiar look of when he sees his children for the first time. He had it with Andy and Ben, and both times, that event left an image that is forever burned into my soul's memory.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">This is stuff you carry with you into the next life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Anyhow, I have to hop into the shower, get my teeth cleaned (I hope I don't throw up on the dental assistant...I should warn her of the invisible gag threashold near my back molars) and then meet my husband at the doctor's office. As soon as I have access to the webbernets, I can post the ultrasound picture.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Today is a great day for one of many firsts.</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-63073697727535172442010-12-31T08:16:00.000-05:002010-12-31T08:16:19.022-05:00The verdict is in...<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">...and I'm pregnant. Like, <b>really</b> pregnant. I took a test two days after that last post and saw a line. Faint, but there. The second lines kept getting darker and darker with each new test and each passing day. I went in for my first blood draw and it came in at 402. (They wanted to see a number of 100 or more. I sure showed them!) Then I went back again the day before yesterday for a routine, 2nd blood draw. They want to see the first number double every 2-3 days. I did them one better: I damn near trippled it! The results came back at 6483. (If it had doubled every 2 days, it would have been in the 3500 range)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Which leads me to believe that there is more than one Andrea-Jeff hybrid in there. And let me tell you how glad I am that the number is that high. Sure, for the obvious reason that it indicates a viable pregnancy, but because my symptoms kicked full-freaking-force in about 2-ish days after that first positive hpt. I was worried that I was just being a drama queen about the symptoms, but the high level of hCG let me know that it's not (all) in my head. I know the progesterone shots make me tired, but I was beyond tired. Like, think of Lance Armstrong doing back to back Tour de France races. <b>That</b> tired. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Also, I developed a sixth sense. No, no dead people involved, but this sense can't be categorized as "smell" because there's a supernatural and superhuman component to it. For example, I can smell what you had for dinner.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yesterday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ok, not really, but did you know that couches have a scent? As does paper? And if I can smell those things, you can be sure that the smell of the dog kibble bin in the garage, the boys' morning breath, the trash can, and egg no*<i>gag</i>* (sorry, I can't even type that without wanting to vomit) are a million times stronger. I've joked that I want to get a job freelancing as a CSI bloodhound. I can put those puppies to shame.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And I am proud to report that I have not complained about a single symptom thus far. Well, I did complain once, but I had a very valid reason. See, I can't look at an avo*<i>gag</i>*do without wanting to spew. I was supposed to make gua*<i>gag</i>*amole to bring to a family gathering on Christmas Eve, but the idea of mashing the avo*<i>gag</i>*dos was more than I could bare. This is so very wrong because I am a Californian and it is a requirement that I love avo*<i>gag</i>*dos. And I do. On grilled steak, mashed into heavenly perfection and served with chips, on all Mexican dishes, you name it, I want it served with avo*<i>gag</i>*dos.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Or, at least I did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But other than that, there has been no complaining. I'm more than happy to be tired, I'm more than happy to have superhuman smelling powers, I'm even more than happy to toss my cookies about once a day. My favorite parts about puking (no really, I'm being serious here...I have favorite parts of the event) are when:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1. Mid vom, Jeff says, very sweetly might I add, from the other side of the bathroom door, "Are you ok? Can I get you anything?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and 2. When the fun is over and I exit the oval office, he's waiting for me, grinning ear to ear, hand in the air to give me a high five. I have my own, personal vomit cheerleader.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I love that man.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So anyhow, there ya go. I'm one of the luckiest people I know and got knocked up (with most likely more than one spawn) on my very first shot (pun totally intended) of IVF/ICSI. Jeff has to go to China for a freaking <b>month</b>, so my awesome IVF nurse moved up our first ultrasound to the day before he leaves. We should know how many aliens are in the Mother Ship by Monday afternoon.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Until then, have a wonderful New Year!</span><br />
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</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-64944265800203435432010-12-16T09:55:00.001-05:002010-12-16T10:03:49.486-05:00Meh.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't feel like blogging today, so I've copied and pasted a conversation that took place about 20 minutes ago. Red = me, blue = dear friend.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">9:15am</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Woohoo!</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shapetype coordsize="21600,21600" filled="f" id="_x0000_t75" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" stroked="f"><stroke joinstyle="miter"></stroke><formulas><f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></f><f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></f><f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></f><f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></f><f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></f><f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></f><f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></f><f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></f><f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></f><f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></f><f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></f><f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></f></formulas><path gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" o:extrusionok="f"></path><lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"></lock></shapetype><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_206" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1074" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">9:16am</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ysssssss</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">snowday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so jealous!!!</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_207" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1073" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:16am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lol</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's not my fault we have an inefficient snow removal policy</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_208" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1072" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:16am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish we had one.</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_209" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1071" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">9:17am</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I'm officially crazy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, crazier.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I'm hallucinating.</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_210" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1070" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:17am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Um you are injecting hormones (in oil)...that'd make you crazy</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_211" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1069" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:17am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">brb, flipping pancakes</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_212" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1068" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">9:17am</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">what are you crazying about?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ok</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_213" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1067" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">9:20am</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so I have these STUPID-SENSITIVE test strips</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lemmie find link</span><br />
<a href="http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/extra-sensitive-pregnancy-test.html" onmousedown="UntrustedLink.bootstrap(this, 'cb52c', event)" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/extra-sensitive-pregnancy-test.html</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10u of hCG</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">these aren't your momma's hpt strips</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">have been testing out the hCG trigger</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">was out on the evening of 3dp3dt</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_214" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1066" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">9:22am</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ok</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_215" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1065" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:22am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and I considered it "officially" out on morning of 4dp3dt</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Took one yesterday and nada.</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_216" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1064" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:22am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">meaning that it isn't in your system anymore?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and any hcg would come from a pregnancy?</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_217" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1063" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:22am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No biggie, nothing appears because Happy and Grumpy are still implanting (fingers crossed)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">yes</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so I pee this morning</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">dip for 3 seconds</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and again, nothing</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but because I'm insane and love to torture myself</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ugh, brb, last pancake to flip</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_218" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1062" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:23am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lol</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ok</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_219" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1061" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:26am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">anyhow</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I tortured myself by googling "6dp3dt"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and followed a link to this other insane infertile woman</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">who got a pos hpt</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but like, BARELY</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">like, at first I thought "girl, you crazy."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">then I looked at a different picture of the same test and was like</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">great, now I'm crazy, too because I see it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so I went back to my test (still sitting on the bathroom counter, waiting out the 5 minute thing)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and stared</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and stared</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and squinted</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and I saw something. but don't get excited, because I totally didn't see anything</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">because I'm insane</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_220" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1060" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:29am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ha ha</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_221" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1059" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:29am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and because I <b>want</b> to see something</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_222" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1058" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:29am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">do you have a picture?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">no, sometimes you can see the faintest of faint lines</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_223" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1057" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:29am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">no, after about 20 minutes of squinting and rubbing eyes, I flushed the damned thing because it was taunting me</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_224" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1056" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:29am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i don't think you are crazy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lmao</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_225" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1055" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">9:29am</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No, really, I think it was the negative image of the control line</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so not only was I seeing lines that weren't there, but I was hearing the little, evil voice of the hpt</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">see? officially nucking futs</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_226" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1054" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:30am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's a good sign really</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_227" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1053" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:30am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">what, being crazy??</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_228" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1052" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:30am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was at my nucking futtiest when I was pregnat.</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_229" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1051" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:30am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lmfao</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">awesome. looking forward to being even crazier than I am on any given day. I honestly didn't think there was a higher level of crazy.</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_230" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1050" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:31am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am giddy with excitement for you</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_231" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1049" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:31am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's like Dante's levels of batshit crazy</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_232" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1048" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:31am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">just you wait, henry higgins, just you wait!</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_233" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1047" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:31am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lol</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_234" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1046" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:31am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">exactly!</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_235" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1045" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:31am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and we TOTALLY do it to ourselves</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">being infertile is a physical disease AS WELL as a mental disorder</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">moreso with the latter</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_236" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1044" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">true </span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_237" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1043" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ok, I have a wee pancake waiting for me</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_238" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1042" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">one wee pancake</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_239" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1041" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and cold coffee</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_240" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1040" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">yeah, mine is cold</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_241" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1039" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">mmm</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_242" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1038" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">let me know what your test looks like tomororw</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">because we all know you will be testing tomorrow</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_243" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1037" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a sign of a momma...cold coffee</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_244" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1036" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">:P</span><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt=":P" id="Picture_x0020_245" o:spid="_x0000_i1035" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <imagedata o:title="P" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image005.gif"></imagedata></span></shape></span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_246" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1034" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:32am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you bet</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">of course! </span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_247" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1033" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:33am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hee hee</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_248" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1032" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:33am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hell, I'd planned on peeing in a cup right before bed tonight</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_249" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1031" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:33am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">:X</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">well let me know then, too!</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_250" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1030" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9:33am </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I <b>do</b> have an arsenal of these things, after all</span><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs456.snc4/49946_512559482_3541646_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512559482" id="Picture_x0020_251" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1029" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49946_512559482_3541646_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">will do mon capitan</span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001"><span style="color: blue; mso-no-proof: yes;"><shape alt="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs236.ash2/49949_585984001_872794_q.jpg" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585984001" id="Picture_x0020_255" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" style="height: 0.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 0.75pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="49949_585984001_872794_q" src="file:///C:\Users\Andrea\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></imagedata></shape></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">batshit crazy #1, over and out</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And to further prove that I am, indeed, insane, here's a picture:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOesm8PF_dFDhHzRrRYccBRKeC00p2Z6gMWYARxHyArrOG3IoOasoRPFM2gz-BtLgPJkHoj3ovPXbR21NwKKCSycFkFn3jD5wNlVWUTlsgEG52cR8zTkS7ak2yWmWnHmRg2PYASG09ksBI/s1600/bunny-with-pancake-on-its-head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="350" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOesm8PF_dFDhHzRrRYccBRKeC00p2Z6gMWYARxHyArrOG3IoOasoRPFM2gz-BtLgPJkHoj3ovPXbR21NwKKCSycFkFn3jD5wNlVWUTlsgEG52cR8zTkS7ak2yWmWnHmRg2PYASG09ksBI/s400/bunny-with-pancake-on-its-head.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-80606456853273206652010-12-14T09:47:00.003-05:002010-12-19T00:24:03.555-05:004dp3dt<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know it's been a while, but I've got a perfectly good excuse: I've been sleeping. Yeah, pretty much all day, every day. Which, I must admit, does make the days go by faster. (That's a <em>good</em> thing when you're counting down the days.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So where were we? Oh yeah, we'd gotten our fertilization report and it was good. Jeff and I went to the hospital on Friday, I got to take a happy-fun-sleepy-time pill, THEY PUT A FREAKING CLAMP ON MY FREAKING CERVIX and then placed two embryos (one 8-celled grade A and one 8-celled grade B) near the top of my uterus. Did I mention that THEY PUT A FREAKING CLAMP ON MY FREAKING CERVIX?! Yeah, <em>that</em> was fun.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Because we had 7 that fertilized, I decided to name them after the Seven Dwarfs. And because I'm a Pollyanna-style optimist, I decided that they transfered "Happy". Because Jeff is a Fox News watchin', mechanical engineer, he decided the other one was "Grumpy". I informed him that if we ended up with a colicky child, he would be in charge of it until it decided to stop crying.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Anyhow, here is the first-ever baby picture of my future spawn. Happy is the one on the top left, Grumpy is down on the bottom right.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8WcaCTZm9u17j7NZF8UIn432y5M_h8_2yCakR53fE3rog91zAnXsJhkccBacm5_O4z9c8rjP03j3ocfqNtGL6_vN4rDY1ETTpLuYri81Krm1B0huEcVur0VqMT9wtlKcFdSZtzlKT6gBw/s1600/the+twins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8WcaCTZm9u17j7NZF8UIn432y5M_h8_2yCakR53fE3rog91zAnXsJhkccBacm5_O4z9c8rjP03j3ocfqNtGL6_vN4rDY1ETTpLuYri81Krm1B0huEcVur0VqMT9wtlKcFdSZtzlKT6gBw/s320/the+twins.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Friday and Saturday were spent lounging in my pajamas, but by Sunday, I'd gone a little stir crazy. So, my sweet husband asked his parents to watch the kids and took me to see "Love and Other Drugs" and then out for Mexican food afterward. Let me just say that I hope I don't jeopardize my status in the "girl club" by saying that the movie wasn't great. Like, at all. My theory is, the makers of this movie <em>knew that</em>, but decided to cast the very gorgeous (and at times, very nude) <a href="http://thefilmstage.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/jake_gyllenhaal.jpg">Jake Gyllenhaalaaleeyhannnalleenneall</a> and <a href="http://www.kissandmakeup.tv/annehathaway_goldenglobes.jpg">Anne Hathaway</a>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So here I sit, 4 days past my 3-day transfer and I feel nothing. Well, nothing but a whole lotta tired. I am, however, convinced that I am pregnant. At this point in embryo development, the embryo isn't even an embryo anymore, but a <a href="http://www.molecularstation.com/molecular-biology-images/data/504/Blastocyst.jpg">blastocyst</a>. It has already started to <a href="http://images.wellcome.ac.uk/indexplus/obf_images/92/96/df40744329e4b8eb6c69ef99434e.jpg">hatch out of it's shell</a> and is beginning to attach itself to the uterus. I've provided a diagram of that last step, below:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQFN8mdz08WRBQFbfZFu4-Cq3MIrZSMWJrECHPFwehVy0-NrhS-7RehgubhCIeasBUd3V1R8sNcCrYFS4CcibBr9iX1nhgfGXHUEFrkuL-PV0mIBStpUEp-IWQSn34z1dnn41tpqT5Kz0/s1600/F1_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQFN8mdz08WRBQFbfZFu4-Cq3MIrZSMWJrECHPFwehVy0-NrhS-7RehgubhCIeasBUd3V1R8sNcCrYFS4CcibBr9iX1nhgfGXHUEFrkuL-PV0mIBStpUEp-IWQSn34z1dnn41tpqT5Kz0/s400/F1_large.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Ok, I might have substituted the boring, sciency labels for my own. The labels I picked are MUCH easier to pronounce, though. That, and they make about as much sense as the originals. But, if you're reading this and your name is Jeff, you're going to want to know what the boring, original names were, so <a href="http://jcp.bmj.com/content/61/12/1296/F1.large.jpg">here</a> you go.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Mandy, one of the awesome IVF nurses that was with us on Friday, said that I could come in for a beta on the 23rd, so rather than spend all of Christmas Eve either getting stuck in the veins with a needle and jumping every time the phone rings, I'm opting to go in on the 23rd. That, and I really don't think what is remaining of my psyche can take any more waiting.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Oh, and if you think I'm even waiting <em>that</em> long for a pregnancy test, you are wrong, my friend. Very wrong. In my posession are 19, very sensitive, hpt strips. They don't detect hCG at 50u, or even a laughable 20u, but <strong>10u</strong>. I've heard of women getting positives on as early as 8dp3dt and because I'm more impatient than my children, I'm <em>so </em>planning to <a href="http://www.peeonastick.com/">POAS</a>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I'm armed and dangerous, folks!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">PS</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Jeff, if you're reading this, I would like to say that I am sorry. If I ever promised not to POAS before the 24th, I was most likely under the very strong influence of some pretty hardcore happy drugs. So that makes that promise null and void. And come on, you knew what an impatient girl I was when you met me.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-65200370606666886972010-12-08T13:49:00.001-05:002010-12-08T14:11:23.641-05:00Fertilization report is in...<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">...and it's good! Out of the 23 that they plucked, 10 were "immature" (I'm still shocked that <b>I</b> of all people produced anything that was immature! I mean, I'm <b>so</b> mature <b>all </b>the time!). They were in GV stage, or "germinal vesicle" stage. I found some info and neat pictures online <a href="http://www.advancedfertility.com/immature-ivf-eggs.htm">here</a>. Sounds like they were about as immature as they could get. Probably putting whoopie cushions on the chairs of the mature eggs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Punks.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyhow, they <a href="http://infertility.about.com/od/ivf/a/icsi_ivf.htm">ICSI'd</a> the remaining 13 and overnight, 7 of them fertilized! Tomorrow I should find out how many cells each contain (we're keeping fingers and things crossed for grade A,eight-celled embryos!!) and when we need to be back at the hospital on Friday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As my cousin Emily put it, I'm a mother of 9! A mother of 9 with a slight (ok, "big") case of separation anxiety. I mean, not that I want all seven to be camped out in my uterus right now, or to be the next <a href="http://www.dlisted.com/files/imagecache/photo-preview/files/galleries/INFphoto_978495.jpg">star of some TLC show about moms with too many damned kids</a>, but those itty-bitty embryo thigies are all alone in an incubator in <a href="http://www.ucfertility.com/images/sinoway.jpg">Chuck's</a> lab. I mean, are they being sung to? Are they warm and cozy? Is Happy getting on Doc's nerves? Is Grumpy flicking Dopey's ears? (And <b>duh</b>, <i>of course</i> I've named them after the <a href="http://www.coloringweb.com/wp-content/uploads/snow-white-seven-dwarfs.jpg">Dwarfs</a>. Couldn't think of anything more fitting for seven, tiny things.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well, I'm exhausted and still hurt like a sonofabitch from yesterday. With all of the abuse it went through yesterday, I'm not surprised if my cervix is packing up its things and finding another place of residence. Before I nuggle and nap with Benny, I'm going to try to talk myself out of calling Brenda (my hero) and asking how the embryos are doing. They don't call, they don't write...I've got to check on them somehow, you know.</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-1363765239419532072010-12-08T00:05:00.001-05:002010-12-19T00:23:20.144-05:00Well THAT really effing hurt<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm on drugs and a <i>tad</i> on the sore side, so this is going to be short. The bad news? I woke up during the procedure and it hurt so bad that I cried. My absolute saintly angel of a nurse wiped my tears away and stroked my head. For the record, Brenda H. is a wonderful, wonderful woman.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After the procedure, I was given Tylenol with codeine. Seriously, they gave me tylenol. Tylenol doesn't do squat for my headaches...how in the hell is it supposed to relieve the pain of the aftermath of the laser wearing shark? Luckily, I had some percocet at home and it became my best friend as soon as I had lunch. (Percocet on an empty stomach is not pretty.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was in the presence of another saint today. My husband. He held my hand, kissed my forehead, carried all of my belongings, remembered to take pictures for my scrapbook, made sure I was as comfy as I could be, told me how excited he was about our babies, tucked me into bed, and even rubbed my tush after he injected it with progesterone. (You know, the one IN FREAKING OIL.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tomorrow, before noon sometime, one of my nurses are supposed to call and give us the fertilization report. Oh! I totally forgot to tell you all how many eggs Dr. Thomas (who didn't wear his Santa hat *sad face*) was able to retrieve. TWENTY FREAKING THREE! As in one less than two dozen! Anyhow, a nurse is going to call tomorrow and let me know how many of the 23 were mature and out of those, how many fertilized overnight.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, I'm drowsy from pain meds and I really just want to curl up next to my sweet husband. I'll post news tomorrow, as soon as I have it. </span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-84214981052344742742010-12-05T22:03:00.000-05:002010-12-05T22:03:08.423-05:00Dear Santa<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Dear Santa,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The last memory I have of writing to you is your standard-issue childhood memory of writing out a Christmas List. I was at a table, facing a window in the living room. I wrote to you on notebook paper, and next to my paper, was an open toy catalog. I remember asking about the reindeer and something about the kinds of cookies you liked and then I remember thinking that "miniature" was a rather stupid way to spell "miniature", but that if it was in print in a catalog, then it must be right.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And don't worry, it's totally fine that I didn't get my "miniature" dollhouse furniture. I didn't have the dollhouse to put it in, anyhow. The roller skates that you brought instead were way cooler.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Since then, I've grown out of the whole "writing to Santa" thing and have moved onto a way more awesome phase in life where I get to watch my kids write their own letters to you. You'll be getting their letters shortly, but Andy really, really, <b>really</b> wants this Lego-Indiana-Jones-Temple-of-Doom-Mine-Cart thing. (I often ask him to remind me of what it's called, simply because I love to hear him call it a "mind cart".) Benny wants a bouncy car and world peace.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes, world peace.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyhow, I'm 30 years old now and here I sit, about to ask for another "miniature". For Christmas this year, the only thing I want is a miniature human. A baby. See, I go in to see my doctor for some blood work on the morning of Christmas Eve and am supposed to get a call later that afternoon, letting me know if the decembryos settled in for a long, winter's nap, or not. (And a nap that lasts all of next spring and summer, too.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just really, really, <b>really</b> want to grow one. (Or two, your pick, I'm easy.) I saw a very pregnant woman with a shirt that read <i>I create life, what's YOUR superpower?</i> I'm assuming that she would not have been impressed with my superpower: the ability to create scrapbooks. I was jealous. Like, the kind of jealous I tell my kids that they should never be because they have so much to be grateful for.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And I do. And I <b>am</b> grateful that I already am a mother. But that's not what I was jealous of. I was jealous of her experiences of seeing a greyscale splotch that resembles an alien, on an ultrasound screen. I was jealous that she got to feel her husband and kids pat her belly and talk to said alien. I was jealous that she was going to get to push that baby out of her body and feel its slick, warm skin against hers as the alien sings its first newborn cry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So, if it is at all possible, please don't fuck up my Christmas with news that I'm not pregnant.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thanks,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Andrea</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-46647952912468878302010-12-04T23:28:00.001-05:002010-12-04T23:39:53.980-05:00Fan-freaking-tastic!<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I went in on Thursday, I felt great. When I left the office, I was bummed. Lots of follicles, but the doc was worried that the e2 would be too high (because it had doubled from Monday to Tuesday). But I got a call from the nurse later that day and things were great: e2 came in at 1355. I continued the 100u of Follistim and was told to come back for more blood work and another ultrasound today.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When <a href="http://www.ucfertility.com/drMichaelThomas.html">Dr. Thomas</a> walked in wearing a Santa Claus hat, I should have known today would be an even better day. I told him that if he wore that hat on my embryo transfer day, I could say that Santa Claus got me pregnant. He said it would put a whole new spin on the song, "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UJcrYrDcws">I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus</a>". I was going to up the joke ante by saying something about Santa coming down the chimney, but I behaved myself. And all you Victorian-era prudes out there don't blow a gasket, there was a female doctor in the room, as well as my best friend, Barbarella. (She tagged along to learn how to give me my <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4M8iCq8zDU&feature=fvw">PIO </a>shot when Jeff is gone from the 15th-18th.) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Madames et monsieurs, I am pleased to announce that I have 26 measurable follicles, total. In case any of you obsess over numbers like I do, lemmie break it down:</span><br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Polly was the leader with thirteen (all numbers are in millimeters):</b><br />
16.1x15<br />
20x12<br />
15.7x15.3<br />
16x8.7<br />
14.6x14.3<br />
13.5x12.9<br />
11.1x12<br />
13.1x11.4<br />
18.2x10.9<br />
16.4x13.9<br />
22.2x12.4<br />
14.7x6.3<br />
13.9x7.5<br />
<br />
<b>Heidi was only one away from a tie breaker, with twelve:</b><br />
15.4x14<br />
16.9x11.7<br />
13.4x10.5<br />
21.1x12.8<br />
14x10.2<br />
22.9x8.7<br />
19.3x18<br />
12.4x11.8<br />
18.4x13.3<br />
10.2x12.1<br />
21.6x13.9<br />
13.9x11.3</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">From <a href="http://www.inciid.org/">www.inciid.org</a>:</span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"> <i>Follicles generally need to be at least 15-16 mm to contain fertilizable eggs (although it is possible in rare cases for follicles to be as small as 14 mm and still contain fertilizable eggs). </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Follicles grow 1 to 2 mm a day both while taking ovulatory stimulants and after the HCG shot.</i></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">So, to sum up, my smallest comes in at about 12mm. If it grows 1-2mm every day for the next 2-ish days, I could be looking at 14-16mm. Now, just because I have 26 measurable follicles, doesn't mean the shark is going to be able to retrieve 26 eggs, or that even if it does, all 26 are going to be mature. (But it never hurts to hope!!)</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">My uterine lining (because you want to know this) is 9.9 ( they want it to be above 7, so this is great) and my e2 came in at 2975. Santa Claus, sorry I mean, <i>Dr.</i> <i>Thomas </i>had guessed it would be somewhere near 3500, but this number is good. </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">When Dr. Ifeelhorriblefornotbeingabletorememberhername called me earlier this evening, she told me that I would be <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXVe4cOHQrQ&feature=related">triggering </a>on Sunday! WOO FREAKING HOO! She told me to take 5u of Lupron and my last (hopefully the last one, FOREVER!) follistim shot tonight and then tomorrow at 11:30pm, take another 5u of Lupron and a shot in the ass (no, she didn't say, "ass") of 10,000units of hCG. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExDLdE_pELs&feature=related">Don't freak out</a>, I know it sounds like a lot, especially because I'm only taking 100units of follistim, but the hCG is concentrated or something.</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">On Monday, I get a shot mini-vacay<i> </i>and on Tuesday, Jeff and I need to be at the hospital at 9:30am for our <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkn6FUy4hhk&feature=related">egg retrieval</a> at 10:30am. Two awesome things about this: </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">1. FREE valet parking. That's right kids, all we have to do is pull up to the front door of the hospital and they park our car. AND give it back to us when we're done. FOR FREE. Sorry, but when you're shelling out $15,000 for a medical procedure, you kinda lose your mind over freebies. (Like my awesome, purple, CRH rubber band bracelet! Oh! And in the waiting room, all the Keurig coffee you can drink!)</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">2. During the procedure, I can't do the fun "<a href="http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x152/zen_scrapper/hookertoes.jpg">hooker toes</a>" (nail polish is a no-no), but I do get to wear my nifty, new <a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3254/3128401175_03c2ac6744.jpg">Santa socks</a>. $5 at Target, you can't beat that! </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">After Pike babies are made in the lab, they usually hang out for a few days and then two embryos are put back inside the Mother Ship. At that point, technically, I get to say I'm pregnant. But don't expect any announcements until Christmas Eve, when I get the results of my <a href="http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/beta-pregnancy-test.html">beta pregnancy test</a>. </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Oh, and keep those funky-cool band aids coming! I'm going to need about 7 more to get me through the PIO shots. Anybody have any of <a href="http://www.perpetualkid.com/ouch-quotes-and-quips-bandages.aspx">these</a>? Send 'em if ya got 'em!</span></div>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-63918528527163935322010-11-30T22:53:00.001-05:002010-12-19T00:22:17.549-05:00Can't accuse me of being half-assed<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I broke my foot this past February, I <strong>really</strong> broke it. I busted f</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">our out of five metatarsal bones, one in two places. I had two screws installed and later removed, was on a scooter, did crutches, had a spaceman boot and everything. When I do something, I go all out. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So, when I was handed the task of cranking out some eggs for this IVF thing, I did just that. And then some. I have close to (drumroll, please) forty follicles. And the bloodwork I had done yesterday (e2 was at 474) I nearly <strong>doubled</strong> today. 837, thankyouverymuch.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">However, turns out that this is not a race to make the most as I can as fast as I can. My nurse called this afternoon and told me to take it down a notch, quite literally. So, I was instructed to lower my dose of follistim to 100 units tonight and tomorrow night and to come in for more poking and probing on Thursday.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">But the best part of my day? The doc that saw me today was looking through my chart as I was having blood drawn. She held up the chart to the front, inside flap where a picture of Jeff and I was paperclipped. (They take a picture of every patient/couple to keep in the chart...I guess it helps keep faces with names.) She said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "This is <strong>the</strong> best one of these I've ever seen! You guys look so happy and so in love! I really like it!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Even as I type this, I'm smiling. I'm just the luckiest girl in the world and I'm savoring every minute of it. I love you, Jeff!</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-91332061543448634052010-11-28T22:27:00.001-05:002010-11-28T22:33:08.442-05:00Like a stuffed turkey<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jeff and I went in for my baseline ultrasound and blood draw on Wednesday the 24th. No cysts, but I have about 10 starter follicles on each of the "cysters". (Heidi and Polly, the ovarian cysters...remember them?) Also, my baseline e2 (serum estradiol) was at 50. (50 = good)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I started my "stims" (drugs that stimulate the ovaries to make lots and lots of follicles, which contain eggs) the following day. Yes, as in Thanksgiving. It was appropriate timing, really. Kind of like a foreshadowing of how I would feel by the end of the holiday weekend. </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">It started with "sore" ovaries. You know how your muscles feel after you run a marathon or go skiing? Yeah, me neither, but I hear your muscles get really sore. Wasn't so much of a "hurt" as it was a "tender".</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">After two days of stims, I went in at the ass-crack of dawn, or "8:30am" as it's known to those weird, morning types, and had blood drawn. I got a call later that day saying that at this point in the process, they like to see e2 between 100 and 200. The doc said I was at 159. See? Proof that I am nine points above "perfect". So there.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">This morning I had to apply a heating pad to the baby factory because I felt really sore, uncomfortable and just downright crappy. As I type this at 10:30-ish in the pm, my midsection feels like a Thanksgiving turkey: Absolutely stuffed! And just 30 minutes ago, the Crazy-Cryin' Train blew past me. I'm so glad I've never had one of those ridiculous crying spells in public. They come on like bad nausea: you can't fight it, you know you're going to end up doing it, it hits hard and fast, and just like that, you're done and feel better. I'm just glad Jeff was here to hug me until it was over...I just love that man!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Well, I'm taking my gut upstairs and we're going to sleep until the ass-crack of dawn, when I have another blood draw to check the e2. I should have results by 5pm and am scheduled to go in for more blood work and an ultrasound on Wednesday. If everything goes according to schedule, the doc should be digging around with a laser-wearing shark by next Monday. Woohoo!</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-76299854179012328502010-11-19T07:19:00.000-05:002010-11-19T07:19:17.783-05:00Duh, you guys...<span style="font-family: Arial;">I thought I'd share a quick story. A few months ago, I was telling Andy that Jeff and I were going to be seeing a doctor that could, hopefully, help us make a baby. I told him about the process (if you ever want a challenge, try breaking IVF/ICSI down to a 7 year old's level of comprehension) and the shots involved and the appointments and the shots and the side effects and the shots.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">When I had finished explaining the whole ordeal he looks at me, and with a very "</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">you guys are really stupid" look he says, "Mom...why don't you guys just try sex?"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I thought I was going to piss myself, I was laughing so hard. Of COURSE! Why hadn't we thought of that before? My god, could it really be that we'd just never tried that method? Wait until I tell Jeff that I saved us $15K AND we get to do it! Win-win!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I just smiled at Andy and told him I'd pass the suggestion along to his dad.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Man, I love that kid.</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-86210012877658007542010-11-17T22:31:00.000-05:002010-11-17T22:31:14.397-05:00Side effects<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_XdP6Lp2ceqY/SsfPRF8lJcI/AAAAAAAAAzY/rY40CtH58QQ/s400/elephant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" px="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_XdP6Lp2ceqY/SsfPRF8lJcI/AAAAAAAAAzY/rY40CtH58QQ/s320/elephant.jpg" width="247" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yeah, they've totally kicked in. Unfortunately, none of the side effects are of the fun variety, such as hallucinations, an increased urge to gamble or increased sexual urges and/or behavior. It would absolutely make my day to get a friendly wave from Adam West, riding an elephant. Anyhow, I realized the side effects had kicked in last Saturday morning. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I told Jeff that I was looking forward to December 7th because I wouldn't have to deal with the cat litter box until 9 months later. Jeff made a joke about putting the cats in the kennel for those several months, and instead of joking right back and saying something about putting the kids in the kennel, too...I cried.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I felt like a total dork when it was all over, but still...I cried. I explained it to him like this: You know when you have that feeling that you're going to puke, but you lay there in bed, trying to psych yourself out of it, you put it off, try to overcome the nausea, but then you hurl all over yourself, and then feel much better?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Totally what it's like when you feel the sads coming on, when you're on fertility drugs. The headaches and hot flashes (well, mine are only from the neck up...go figure) have also joined the party. Oooh, and they brought along their friend, "Exhaustion" to crash the party. I think there was one day this week where I was asleep for more hours than I was awake.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Which is why this blog post is going to be a short one. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">'Night.</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-31334809741481540262010-11-15T21:15:00.000-05:002010-11-15T21:15:50.173-05:00One more time, from the top<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/loldogs-cute-puppy-pictures-holdmeback.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" px="true" src="http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/loldogs-cute-puppy-pictures-holdmeback.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This cute, LOLdog photo pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now. So, remember a few posts back when I said that we were doing IVF because we knew we would love a REAL child way more than those adopted things we have running around?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Yeah, you don't remember that because I never wrote it. Or said it. Or thought it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">But here we are, day 6 of Lupron shots and I've already received my first insensitive comment. This gem comes to us from someone who shall remain nameless, doesn't read this blog and is a friend of the family. Something along the lines of, "I'm just concerned that she's risking the relationship she has with the boys, because it's going to be different when she has one of her own." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Give me a minute...must count to ten so that I don't kick the nearest cat.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I don't really even know where to begin with tackling this one. I guess I'll start by quoting myself from an earlier blog post:</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I got my Happy Fun Time Box (it's what I'm calling the box o' needles...just go with it) in the mail, I sat the boys down and had a heart-to-heart with them. I wanted them to know that I am so lucky to have them as my sons and that I am so grateful their birthmoms chose J and I to be their parents. I told them that we weren't doing IVF because we want a baby that looks like us or that shares our blood or because we think we'd love a bio-kid more than we love them. I told them that we wanted to experience pregnancy and that I wanted us to experience that as a family. I want the boys to go in and hear #3's heart beat, come with me to an ultrasound, feel my kicking belly and come visit us in the hospital when #3 arrives. I really tried to stress that we didn't care how we got to be parents again, because blood doesn't equal family, love does.</span></em><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'd also like to add that the cost of IVF/ICSI has come down, considerably, and we are in a program where we get four tries for half of what we paid for Andy's adoption fees. (And just so I'm not misquoted anywhere, I said "paid for adoption fees" not, "paid for Andy".) Not only would I very much like to experience a pregnancy, labor and delivery, but it's cheaper. Momma <em>is</em> going to need a mini-van for her child-army, afterall.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next, I'd like to take on the whole "real child" thing. Aside from the fact that it implies that adopted children are somehow mystical, magical, imaginary beings, it implies that they are not <em>as</em> part of the family, therefore not <em>as</em> loved, as biological children. Put it to you this way: If it were possible to love a child more than I love my boys, the universe would implode upon itself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To quote the legendary <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWhMyOs0pCQ">Stevie Wonder</a>, I will love another child more than I love my boys "the day the dolphin flies and parrots live at sea, the day that 8 x 8 x 8 is 4, the day that is the day there are no more, the day the earth starts turning right to left, the day dear Mother Nature says her work is through, the day that you are me and I am you."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And last, the idea that I'm someone who <em>could</em> love a child of my womb more than a child of my heart is just downright insulting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I need to go kick a cat, now.</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-84862494141975703552010-11-11T22:16:00.001-05:002010-11-11T22:30:27.151-05:00Cannot self-terminate<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ok, so you know that one scene at the end of Terminator 2 where they've killed that melty-metal cyborg thingie and then they have to destroy the computer chips and whatnot? The Governator says to the Connor family, "There is one more chip that needs to be destroyed" and then ever so dramatic-like, he points to his noggin. Arnie says "<a href="http://terminator.wikia.com/wiki/Self-terminate">I cannot self terminate</a>", </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(the fact that there is a Terminator Wiki makes me sad) </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the whiney, emo kid flips out and bad-ass Momma Conner lowers the Schwarz into the molten steel. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That scene always came to mind whenever I was faced with the possibility of having to give myself a shot. No matter how great the end result could possibly be, my hand was just not going to thrust a needle into my flesh. So, when this cycle of IVF rolled around, I drafted several friends to do the injecting for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Last night, I thought I'd be able to shoot up by myself, but it just didn't happen. Unfortunately, Jeff is leaving for 8 days, and I'm going to have to inject myself. So tonight, I stood in my bathroom, sans pants (of course, only AFTER all of this did I even realize that my window blinds were wide open. Nice.) and attempted to jab my thigh with a needle.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ladies and gentlemen, I am beyond proud to announce that I was successful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Jeff was with me at first, but after realizing that in his attempts to make me feel better, he was only making me more nervous, he left and waited for me downstairs. As soon as he left, I was able to focus and stuck that puppy into my leg.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am a bad-ass. I am a bad-ass wearing a disco-ball looking band-aid on my thigh, but still: bad-ass.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgou6kJl8lsqTsjSSAqWOKzS4Hp_O-QHN1-n4HZLyLXQqiqKV7p5-RKDioiZ37h3tnj8e8Mw40jm4dVEADKq-TYlaCxGf2nOi60NRwQ1MadE5jtTWr-rd5dCc5DFm4b9btLbzJJi2qZo6Ra/s1600/bad+ass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgou6kJl8lsqTsjSSAqWOKzS4Hp_O-QHN1-n4HZLyLXQqiqKV7p5-RKDioiZ37h3tnj8e8Mw40jm4dVEADKq-TYlaCxGf2nOi60NRwQ1MadE5jtTWr-rd5dCc5DFm4b9btLbzJJi2qZo6Ra/s320/bad+ass.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2680599178166745569.post-13129797561878221942010-11-10T22:32:00.000-05:002010-11-10T22:32:10.937-05:00Much better this time around<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For Jeff and I, the first round of fertility treatments were not pretty. We were just a year into marriage, the shots hurt like a mofo and we were very, very sad people. Fast forward to this evening. Jeff and I are 12 years into our relationship, solid as a freaking diamond, the first few weeks of shots are all sub-q (infertile speak for subcutaneous shots; under the skin, not intramuscular [IM shots]). </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpSBjYAzXdbafQldeaiTMXq6eoh9jGUjso3eTtzKM-GtgVVlaU2ygfkeq3f9x2YI4dC2zxhwT0h1HDXtIVQ3Dr5UTC579uTFEURlgbQkC468Nuwc3WObYcpRUADnxsCbarxiE-WMVn2qch/s1600/lupron.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpSBjYAzXdbafQldeaiTMXq6eoh9jGUjso3eTtzKM-GtgVVlaU2ygfkeq3f9x2YI4dC2zxhwT0h1HDXtIVQ3Dr5UTC579uTFEURlgbQkC468Nuwc3WObYcpRUADnxsCbarxiE-WMVn2qch/s320/lupron.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And the best part of tonight's shot compared to what it was like 8 years ago? My hands were being held by the hands of my sweet, man-children.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I totally chickened out and asked Jeff to give me the first shot. A few weeks ago, when I got the Happy Fun Time Box in the mail, I was more confident than a gorgeous, Italian man in a room full of single women. I looked at the box, and it flinched. The box shivered in my presence. But then tonight, the box transformed from silly, little, rectangle thing made of cardboard into Chuck freaking Norris.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My eyes started playing tricks on me. Instead of seeing the itty-bitty, 1/2" sub-q needle, I saw a 10' steel pole. Instead of seeing my husband as he really was, like this:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0s-kaz8-UBT-AHZclp0DLn0WkcJ-Y2eYEGgdLT1YAmbIh8Ho0JuqM7E8K5SVnARlyJh5zmhvxgFxMYgrmZ6upMegg-mlq74Z2a0oKkcrzpbFg6mD9hhihS0qdvZQQzNFPIVTx6nQj1nKW/s1600/nice+jeff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0s-kaz8-UBT-AHZclp0DLn0WkcJ-Y2eYEGgdLT1YAmbIh8Ho0JuqM7E8K5SVnARlyJh5zmhvxgFxMYgrmZ6upMegg-mlq74Z2a0oKkcrzpbFg6mD9hhihS0qdvZQQzNFPIVTx6nQj1nKW/s320/nice+jeff.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I saw him as this:</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VPa_fOcqZgxz_e8HOaaLa6dU1G2wgN_qWd4xMEz5__ojlND3m1HxEmkJEb1ApER-8rr1IvFoMEk3_c2SEEmYkxUeLJ4RPHgbtjsoTwbwnAgHfMI9M8Td_vX0z12ZrVs0IBJGNTTcQcFb/s1600/evil+jeff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VPa_fOcqZgxz_e8HOaaLa6dU1G2wgN_qWd4xMEz5__ojlND3m1HxEmkJEb1ApER-8rr1IvFoMEk3_c2SEEmYkxUeLJ4RPHgbtjsoTwbwnAgHfMI9M8Td_vX0z12ZrVs0IBJGNTTcQcFb/s320/evil+jeff.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After three false-starts, I was poked in the belly with the "ultra-comfort" needle (which, I must say, lived up to its name), injected with 10units of Lupron and then had a Toy Story band-aid slapped on the injection site.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am proud to say that the needle poke didn't hurt and that the Lupron didn't sting. There was a teeny-tiny bit of itching about 5 minutes later, but that went away after about 3 rounds of Bejeweled Blitz. (STAY AWAY FROM MY HIGH SCORE, YOUNG AND CONLEY!!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And if it's not asking too much of the Fertility Gods, I'd like to put off the dreaded Lupron headaches until after this Saturday. I have a wedding to go to and already have three, very precious gentlemen on my dance card. I cannot disappoint.</span>A girl and three boyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04310004386671748591noreply@blogger.com0